The Practice of Courage
A martial arts sensei said, “You are always practicing something. The question is – What are you practicing?” Darn good question.
Whether we are practicing one-upmanship or cooperation, truth telling or lying, mentoring or self-promotion, fluency in three-letter acronyms or plain speaking, anonymous feedback or face-to-face feedback, our practices have an impact on our careers, our companies, our relationships.
In Henry David Thoreau’s Walden, written during his year in a one-room cabin with few possessions, is this quote.
“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life that is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.”
He was talking about the bigger house, and all the stuff we buy that ends up owning us, keeping us awake at night. Amen to that!
Let’s substitute the word “practice” for “thing.”
The cost of a practice is the amount of life and, ultimately, dollars that must be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
There is a direct link between our practices and our results and in my work with leaders and their teams, the practice that, when it is missing costs us the most, and when it is present makes the greatest difference, is courage. Backed up with skill.
Courage is a noun that shows up as a verb. It comes from old French corage, from Latin cor, “heart. We recognize it by what people do. We do what frightens us, even in the face of perceived or real personal risk. The man who ran into a house that was fully engulfed in flames, to save a neighbor whom he barely knew. We demonstrate strength in the face of pain or grief. The hiker trapped beneath a boulder, who escaped by cutting off his own arm with a Swiss Army knife. No anesthetic.
While we recognize courage in once-in-a-lifetime, go-down-in-history heroic deeds, it is far more powerful as a daily practice. Though you might have run into that burning house, your courage may be failing you where it counts most – in your day-to-day interactions with the people who are central to your success and happiness.
Let’s look at why courage sometimes fails us, the worst “best” practice that gets squarely in its way, and what to do instead.
WHY COURAGE FAILS US
Courageous acts, whether played out in the global media or in a meeting room, are fueled by strong emotion. In 2002 Daniel Kahneman, a Princeton psychologist, won the Nobel prize for economics for his discovery that people act first for emotional reasons, second for logic.
How many times have you told someone what you thought he or she wanted to hear, rather than what you were really thinking? Painted a false, rosy version of reality, glossing over problems or pretending they simply didn’t exist? Tossed out the ceremonial first lie?
Telling it like it is, speaking the ground truth as opposed to the official party line (which we know to be bogus) is no one’s notion of exalting. It’s so upsetting, alarming, and risky that we’re willing to place a for sale sign on our integrity to avoid it.
After all, we’ve all witnessed a kind of violence—a lost promotion, raise, or place at the table—visited on those who’ve spoken their hearts and minds, and it is raw.
Why saw off a metaphorical limb if there is a less risky, less painful way to get through a challenging situation?
Susan Scott is the Founder of Seattle-based Fierce, Inc., a global leadership development and training company that drives results for businesses by changing the conversations.
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